The Banana Splits Movie (2019) Review

Director: Danishka Esterhazy

Writers: Jed Elinoff, Scott Thomas

Stars: Dani Kind, Finlay Wojtak-Hissong, Romeo Carere

1 Hour, 29 Minutes

Pick it up at Amazon: https://amzn.to/2NBOE5P

The Banana Splits Movie (2019)
The Banana Splits Movie (2019)

Harley wakes up Beth. He’s wearing the elephant suit from the Banana Splits show that he loves so much. He can’t sleep because he’s too excited about his birthday tomorrow. Harley’s obsessed with the show, and they’re going to a live taping of the show. None of his friends want to go because they’re all a little too old for the show now, but one girl does get roped in. One of his birthday gifts is some kind of magic wand that shoots out like a pressurized sword; there’s no chance that’ll come in useful later.

They arrive at Studio One, and the crowd is lined up around the building. We meet several other families, and it sort of gives a “Charlie and Chocolate Factory” vibe with all the unique oddball characters. The tour people confiscate all the phones for security reasons, but it’s really plot reason to keep anyone for calling for help later.

Meanwhile, in the secret room behind the studio. Karl, the technician, upgrades Drooper’s programming, and we can see that they’re actually robots. Drooper’s eyes now glow red, which is never a good sign for robots.

Andy, the new VP of programming, has decided the show is “old and stupid,” and he’s cancelling the show. The show begins, and all the characters come out doing their thing. Stevie, their human sidekick, is in his dressing room getting drunk. Austin, Harley’s brother, talks to Paige (the Page) to hook Harley up with backstage tickets to meet the Splits.

Stevie overhears Andy talking on the phone about cancelling the show. One of the Splits kills Andy. The show continues as usual, and then it ends. Stevie explains to the Splits that he’s always hated them, and the show is now over. Drooper’s eyes go red again. Drooper shoves a huge lollipop down Stevie’s throat.

Beth finds out Mitch has been cheating on her, and they fight.

Meanwhile, one guy gets beheaded in a magic trick, and another gets his face burnt off. Mitch literally gets run over by an elephant in a sports car.

The children are all locked up in a cage. Karl, the technician who built the Splits, explains that the show is all they have, and the destruction is the network’s fault for cancelling the show. When the children actually get out of the cage, we see who’s side he’s really on.

The producer of the show and the man with the burnt face have to walk through an oil slick and walk through a pie gauntlet. They don’t win the prize.

The survivors catch up to Karl, who explains that the Splits can’t be stopped, and the show must go on. He’s quite insane. He then learns that a traumatized guest can be even more insane than he is. The Splits have taken all the children and chained them to the bleachers, so the show can go on for ever and ever.

I guess the real question is whether or not that pointy weapon-thing we saw in the first act is ever going to get used…

Commentary

It’s basically Chuck E. Cheese meets Westworld.

It’s just all kinds of stupid. It starts off good enough, but the execution of everything once the killings start is fairly awful. It’s too scary to be a kids movie, and too childish to be a good horror movie. This is one of those movies that would be over if everyone simply got in their cars and left. There’s no prison, no restraints, just people too stupid to run away.

There are some good gore scenes, but it’s really hard to get past the level of stupid. I can’t believe the licensing for these characters ever got approved by Hannah-Barbera in the first place, but it did. The concept here is excellent; someone had a really good idea to make this movie using these actual old seventies characters. Things went downhill after that point.