1974 Blood for Dracula

• AKA “Andy Warhol’s Dracula”
• Directed by: Paul Morrissey
• Written by: Paul Morrissey, Pat Hackett, Bram Stoker
• Stars: Joe Dallesandro, Udo Kier, Vittorio De Sica
• Run Time: 1 Hour, 46 Minutes
• Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ru7Df7TIHnY

Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone

Sickly Dracula must have virgin blood to survive, and Italy is the only place he can find one in these modern times. So he and his faithful servant set off on a road trip to find one. It’s another strange take on a classic horror tale, with plenty of dark humor. It’s a little on the long and slow side, but we still both enjoyed it.

Spoilery Synopsis

We watch as Count Dracula puts on his makeup and paints his blonde hair black. Anton, Dracula’s servant, says there’s not much time, and Dracula will need to relocate to Italy, where they have lots of virgins. If he doesn’t get the blood of a virgin within two weeks, both he and his sister will die. Dracula doesn’t want to leave the castle, but he doesn’t have much choice. They put his sickly sister into her coffin; she can’t go along with them.

In Italy, a bunch of girls work in their garden, and since it’s hot, Rubunia and Saphiria decide to go topless. Mario, the Italian servant, has a very New York accent.

Dracula and Anton stop at a place to rent a room for the night. The landlady remarks on how thin and sickly Dracula looks, and they don’t have any food that Dracula can eat. They talk about one of the Di Fiore family who have four daughters that might be virgins, and this interests Anton a lot.

The Marquis Di Fiore and his wife discuss the rich new count who has arrived in town. The family needs money, so maybe they could marry off one of their useless daughters. Anton shows up at the door with a deal. The family offers them rooms at their huge house. The Marquis really liked the name “Dracula” and can barely stop saying it.

On the way out, Anton stops at a restaurant and likes a girl he sees there. She gets hit by a car, and Anton soaks up a bunch of her blood in a piece of bread. It’s tasty!

At the big house, Saphiria and Rubinia make love to Mario, as a group, so they clearly aren’t virgins. He points out that the family is broke and they’re about to lose everything. He prefers their 14-year-old sister, Esmerelda.

Dracula arrives at the house and makes introductions with all the girls. The girls wonder about the count. Anton and Mario clearly hate each other.

Saphiria brings Dracula some vegetables to eat in his room, and he talks to her about marriage. And tries to confirm if she’s a virgin or not. When she says that she is, he bites her. And quickly regrets it as he turns green and violently vomits it back up. Meanwhile, Mario makes love to another of the sisters as they discuss aristocracy and the lower classes.

Dracula rejects Saphiria for not being a virgin. Mario and Dracula argue over Communism, revolutions, and the aristocracy. Rubinia and Perla talk about Mario, Sex, and married life. Not long after, Dracula tests (and tastes) Rubinia, who also lies about her virginity. Again, he gets sick and it all comes back up.

Since neither of the middle daughters are actually virgins, Anton says they’re going back to Romania. He hints that one of the younger daughters might be suitable and leaves it hanging at that. A bit later, Dracula comments on how run down and shabby everything is, pointing out the family’s poverty to Esmerelda. They talk and she mentions a long engagement that didn’t work out, so Dracula just assumes she isn’t a virgin.

Mario gets nosy and checks out the coffin, which he finds empty. He suddenly knows all about vampires. Rubinia and Saphirira check Perla and decide that she is a virgin; they try to take her to the count. She runs away into Mario, who tells her about vampires. He says she needs to lose her virginity before Dracula gets her, and then he makes it happen. The Marquesa soon learns about the vampire, as does everyone else. Esmerelda comes in, and she’s not feeling well. No one notices the scarf around her neck. Or the smile she gives the Count. Apparently she was a virgin after all.

Meanwhile, Dracula and Anton carry the coffin back out to the car, at least until Mario smashes it with an ax. Anton stabs the Marquesa, who shoots him in the back. Mario cuts off both Dracula’s arms and chases him around the house. Then he cuts his legs off. Finally, as he’s about to stake Dracula through the heart, Esmerelda runs out screaming. “No! He belongs to me!” She jumps on the stake as well.

Mario and Perla go back inside.

Brian’s Commentary

They don’t have a single virgin in Romania?

Just as with the Frankenstein film, Andy Warhol had nothing to do with this other than letting the producers use his name.

Dracula here goes out in the daytime and touches the cross, although he’s not happy to do either. He refuses to eat garlic.

It’s got plenty of funny bits, but it’s nowhere near as over-the-top as “Flesh for Frankenstein” which shared much of the same cast and crew. The four sisters all look too similar, so it’s a little hard to tell them apart, and the acting, all around, is exaggerated and more than a little hammy.

Kevin’s Commentary

I wonder why Dracula bothered using a mirror while putting on makeup in the opening credits. Though it was a good way to let us know right off the bat he’s a vampire. And speaking of bats, this version doesn’t seem to be able to shape shift. Though he’s also not too bothered by crosses or sunlight. And he does seem to have hypnotic power over women he’s bitten.

This has a lot of the vibe, and same cast, as “Flesh For Frankenstein,” but it’s more slow moving and not quite the same level of weirdness. It is still strange and pretty funny though.