1995 Ice Cream Man

• Directed by: Norman Apstein
• Written by: David Dobkin and Sven Davison
• Stars: Clint Howard, Justin Isfeld, and Anndi McAfee
• Run Time: 1h 26m
• Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-mZnaD4zKA

Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone

Little Gregory is institutionalized after seeing an ice cream man killed in front of him. So, when he grows up and gets out, he becomes an ice cream man himself. And despite being out, he’s not at all sane. It’s weird and over the top. There is a body count and some horror for sure, but it’s oddly paced and dated. Brian was substantially more entertained by it than Kevin was.

Spoilery Synopsis

We start in black-and-white times, as a car pulls up and the man inside shoots the ice cream man in front of a bunch of children, including little Gregory. “Who’s going to sell me ice cream, Mommy?” he asks. Credits roll.

In the modern day, the ice cream man comes to the neighborhood, and it’s Gregory, all grown up. He growls at the children and makes them say “Please.” His ice cream has bugs in it.

Small Paul is reading about the Pied Piper, and that’s probably not going to be relevant later. Gregory watches a man spearing trash in the park and flashes back to his own treatment at the asylum. He then kidnaps little Roger and kills a dog. Johnny’s mother gets a call about Roger’s disappearance.

Gregory lives with Nurse Wharton, who is his caretaker. The police ask him about the missing child. We see that Gregory makes his own ice cream, using chopped-up children as ingredients.

Heather goes home and watches her reverend father get his mother to speak in tongues. Small Paul goes to the ice cream truck alone, and Gregory is weird. As Gregory grabs Paul and loads him into the truck, Tuna sees it all. Hiding, Tuna comes across Roger, who escaped from Gregory.

Tuna starts seeing Gregory everywhere and knows he’s being followed. Tuna finally convinces his mother that he’s seen something, and the police soon show up to search Gregory’s place– with an axe. They tear the place up extremely thoroughly, but they don’t find anything at all. Detective Gifford still thinks Gregory is involved, even without evidence.

Gregory has Small Paul hidden in a secret room, but he hasn’t hurt him. He talks to him and gives him butter brickle. Tuna, Johnny, and Heather pledge to bring Gregory to justice, but they’re just kids, so that’s gonna be hard. They follow him to the cemetery, where he disposes of a body. The police also follow him there. No, it’s not a body, it’s ice cream that he’s putting on the grave of the Ice Cream King, the man we saw gunned down in the opening scene.

Tuna and Johnny shoot at the cops, who pick them up and take them home. Heather takes some photos, and we get a great scene as she takes them to a place to get developed (how archaic!). Meanwhile, Gregory shows Small Paul how to make ice cream.

The police go to the asylum and learn that Gregory was Nurse Wharton’s favorite patient. They see all kinds of weirdness in the hospital. It’s a great place to be institutionalized.

Gregory grabs Tuna off the street and locks him in the truck’s cooler. “You’re ice cream!” he snarls. Johnny’s older brother Jacob wants to be a cop, and he has a gun. Gregory kills Jacob’s girlfriend, “Now that’s what I call brain freeze.” Johnny and Heather hide, but they end up getting a “puppet show” from Gregory using two dead cops’ heads.

The kids run to Nurse Wharton’s house to hide, and she lets them inside. She turns them over to Gregory right away. Small Paul pretends to be the Ice Cream King and lures Gregory inside the gigantic, oversized nut-chopping machine that chews him up good.

The next morning, the police are all over the place, and Nurse Wharton is still looking for her dog. The kids have invited Roger to join their group, but Small Paul has gone to therapy. He’s going to be the next Ice Cream Man…

Brian’s Commentary

This is a weird one, full of odd choices and goofiness.

It’s got really cheesy dialogue and funky acting, but it’s also got a lot of recognizable faces doing small cameos, and everything looks purposefully over the top. It’s oddly paced and feels a little out of date and slow.

It’s clearly making fun of horror movies, but it’s not a straight-up comedy. It’s like all the humor is derived from just how ridiculous this all is, rather than specific jokes.

It’s a little unusual, and it does have problems, but I was also very entertained.

Kevin’s Commentary

Everything about the movie is strange. And I’d go as far as saying it’s interesting. Clint Howard is a hoot, and there are a lot of recognizable faces. But I was a little bored and not very entertained. Though I did appreciate how horribly funny it was when he was using the cops’ heads as puppets.