- Directed by: Marcus Nispel
- Written by: Kim Henkel, Tobe Hooper, Scott Koser
- Stars: Jessica Biel, Jonathan Tucker, Andrew Bryniarski
- Run Time: 1 Hour, 38 Minutes
- Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mra_Z3cpGCM
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
It’s a reboot of the 1973 movie by the same name. And while it is a sweaty movie with some grit, it doesn’t match the grimy feel of the original. It’s a polished modern (okay 23 years ago) horror movie. Though it is pretty well made and entertaining after a little bit of a slow start. We both liked it more than disliked it, but our attention wandered here and there. Kevin liked it a bit more than Brian did.
Spoilery Synopsis
We get a voiceover about the deaths of five young people thirty years ago. We get a video walkthrough of one of the murder sites. Credits roll.
August 18, 1973, a bunch of teens in a van are out in the country. Erin, Morgan Pepper, Andy, and Kemper are annoying right off the bat. They’re all coming back from buying pot in Mexico; they’ve got two pounds in the car.
They almost hit a young girl walking in the road. The girl has clearly been into some bad things, so they offer her a ride. Kemper, the driver, doesn’t know where they are and drives her to the meat packing plant, where the girl kills herself in the back of their van. Most of the van people are asking “why did this happen to us?”
The group stops at a gas station. The woman inside calls the sheriff, who offers to meet them somewhere else. They drive to an abandoned-looking factory, but there’s no sheriff there. They go inside the old factory, but they aren’t alone. They find a little boy who seems to be living there alone.
They go to a huge old isolated house, and the man says they can call the sheriff from there. The sheriff finally shows up at the factory, and he’s a class act as he wraps up and takes the body away. Meanwhile, Erin and Kemper run into trouble with the old man in the house– oh, and Leatherface is there as well.
Erin returns to the other three, minus Kemper, and they wonder what’s happened. She takes Andy back to the old man’s house, and he sneaks in the back door. They soon run into Leatherface, and Andy loses a leg.
Erin runs back to Morgan and Pepper, but then the sheriff shows up to arrest them all for drugs. There’s a standoff between Morgan and the sheriff, and that goes badly for Morgan.
Meanwhile, Leatherface takes off his mask and works on what’s left of Kemper and Andy. After, he goes after the two girls, now alone in the van, but he’s wearing Kemp’s face. She runs to a mobile home with two women inside; “He knows better than to bother us in here. He’s a sweet boy.”
The sheriff and gas station lady are in cahoots with the old man and Leatherface, which is not at all surprising. They turn Erin over the big masked man, who puts her in the basement with Andy, who’s still not dead yet. He begs her to kill him, which she does. She then finds Morgan, who’s also still alive– at least for a little while.
Leatherface chases Erin across a field, but he trips and injures himself. She runs to the meat packing plant, where the two play cat-and-mouse. Somehow, it’s hard to tell with all the superfast edits, Leatherface loses an arm.
Erin runs outside and flags down a truck driver, who stops and picks her up. She freaks out and makes the guy stop– at the same gas station as before. Erin hotwires a car and runs over the sheriff repeatedly. She drives away with the kidnapped baby, right past Leatherface, who’s still out there.
We get a voiceover discussing how the case is still open.
Brian’s Commentary
This just seems to take forever to get to anything. It’s a very sweaty, dusty movie, but it just doesn’t give the impression of dirt that the original did; it’s just a little too professional and polished.
It was fine, but I admit I was checking my phone from time to time; it just didn’t grab me.
Meh.
Kevin’s Commentary
It’s certainly a sweaty and wet movie. With water leaking into rooms even before it started raining.
It was a nice touch bringing John Larroquette back for the voiceover again. He was an unknown at the time of the original.
I thought it was okay, liked it more than disliked it. But the original was better, and is more rewatchable. This isn’t that memorable.
Be the first to comment on "2003 Texas Chainsaw Massacre"