- Directed by: John Gulager
- Written by: John Gulager, Joel Soisson
- Stars: Danny Trejo, Sal Lopez, Samantha Ashley
- Run Time: 1 Hour, 24 Minutes
- Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_BtI82nMP8
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
The plot is simple. A recent parolee gets a Mexican witch to resurrect his old posse so that they can help him save a woman’s ranch from a ruthless drug lord. So it’s an action crime drama with magic and lots of dark humor. We both thought it was really good.
Spoilery Synopsis
In Diablo County, Texas, Men come to an isolated ranch, and Matteo, the man who lives there, grabs his gun. The old man in the car wants to buy the farm, and he’s not going to take no for an answer. That goes really bad for Matteo.
We cut to Santana Bravo, being released from prison, where he’s been since 1973, as credits roll. We’re told he was falsely accused of murder and spent 41 years in prison. He goes to Diablo County and goes to that same ranch for a job from Matteo. Matteo’s wife, Carmela, wants to hire him for protection from the old Abuelo.
Sheriff Jake shows up, and oddly, all their body cameras aren’t working. He marches Bravo out into the field, and shoots him in the back three times.
Bravo wakes up some time later in the home of a bruja, an enchantress, and her husband, Miguelito is a zombie. She also wants him to stand up to Abuelo. Back in the day, Abuelo killed Bravo’s wife. He became a legend in the region for standing up to Abuelo back in ‘73. He’s old now, and not up to the fight anymore. She says he “needs a crew” and can make one by standing over a grave and bleeding.
Bravo goes off to do the job, and he takes Miguelito with him. Miguel explains what it’s like to be dead, and he doesn’t mind it too much. They head to cemetery number one and Bravo cuts himself and bleeds into the grave. His blood explodes dramatically, and when the fire clears, dead Eugene is back, out of the grave, awake, and not too happy to be there.
At the next cemetery, they wake up another corpse, Tommy LaSorda. Tommy and Eugene don’t get along, and they wreck their truck. They quickly manage to steal another one. They all drive to another cemetery and dig up Quasimodo, the dead professional wrestler and his girlfriend Delores, both buried in their luchadore costumes.
At the fifth cemetery, they wake up Stickface, a homicidal hockey player.
Meanwhile, back at the farm, Camela and her mother get ready for a fight when Abuelo returns in the morning. Sheriff Jake and his men arrive in force, and they want trouble. Jake is the first to die in the ensuing fire fight.
Then the dead arrive and mess up the killers. They are not gentle, and there’s some great carnage. Carmela is a little surprised to find Bravo with an army of zombies who all introduce themselves. “One problem at a time,” she tells her elderly mother.
As everyone gets set working to reinforce the house, Quasimodo sings to Delores. They learn that there are tunnels under the farm that leads across the border.
Hector reports to El Abuelo about their defeat at the ranch earlier in the morning, and the old man is not happy. El Abuelo then grabs Miguel and plays the accordion for him. Miguel doesn’t torture well. He warns Abuelo that the others are “Way less chill.” Then they put him through a wood chipper.
At cemetery number six, Bravo and Carmela visit Matteo’s grave. They talk about Guadalupe, Bravo’s long-dead wife.
The bad guys grab the bruja and drop her off at the ranch. She’s wearing a big bomb, the same way Abuelo killed Guadalupe many years ago. She goes boom, and the zombies are not pleased. Bravo’s got nothing to offer them now; he had promised that the bruja would restore them to real life, but that’s not gonna happen now. That’s OK, as they all want revenge now.
The baddies return with missiles, and they blow up Stickface. The gang heads down to the cellar and the tunnels to head for Mexico. All the zombies want to blow up the tunnels and bury themselves to save Bravo, Carmela, and the old lady.
Bravo is killed anyway, but Carmela’s mother revives him. When they get to the other side of the tunnel, Abuelo is waiting for them. The old man gets the drop on them, but then, out of nowhere, Miguel’s severed hand crawls up the old man’s pants and does bad things to him. Bravo and Carmela finish him off.
At cemetery number seven, Bravo reburies all his zombie friends. Bravo and Mihuel’s hand walk off to have further adventures.
Brian’s Commentary
This is great, it pokes fun at westerns, Mexican wrestlers, revenge films, zombie tropes, and everything else it can throw in. Mostly, though, it follows the basic plot of “Seven Samurai.” It’s more comedy than horror, but it’s about zombies, so there’s that. Danny Trejo’s getting a little old to be doing physical stunts and violence, but as the leader of the group, he does well here. The array of dead characters is fun, especially Lew Temple as Tommy Lasorda.
Kevin’s Commentary
I thought the humor in this was excellent. The script is very good, taking an old idea and adding the element of the undead to liven it up. I’d say it was my favorite Danny Trejo movie.
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