2024 The Yorkie Werewolf

• Directed by Michael DiBiasio-Ornelas
• Written by Michael DiBiasio-Ornelas
• Stars Isabella Jaimie, Risa Mei, Jacob Rainer
• Run Time: 1 Hour, 15 Minutes
• Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-Pv_iKj_Dk

Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone

The basic premise is that a young woman becomes a were-yorkie rather than a were-wolf. So she’s both adorable and deadly. But wait, there’s more. Witches and warlocks and mobsters and vampires all interact in this weirdly entertaining film. The effects get the job done, the script is out there and the actors seem to go along with it having a good time.

Spoilery Synopsis

Two men run through the snowy woods away from one man who has lost his foot and another shoots himself in the head. A tiny werewolf kills them as credits roll. 

Grandma sits up and prophecizes: “You will end the war at great cost. I have seen it,” and then she farts before dying. The family are all witches and have been for many generations. Jenny’s mother, Sandra, says that Jenny has to come to the coven meeting tonight. For good measure, grandma farts some more, an indication of how much power she had in her. 

Jenny’s boyfriend Dominic wants to make out in the car, and she blasts him with magic. He farts too after he’s unconscious. She then takes him to the coven as a sacrifice. “Witches and mobsters can never mix.” Sandra and her two witchy friends explain a ton of backstory about… everything. As she holds her little Yorkie dog, she cuts it and drips dog’a blood into Don’s mouth. 

Suddenly, the witches die in a mobster attack. One of the witches was a double agent! After a quick fight, only Jenny is left alive. Her spell has gone wrong, and Jenny turns into a werewolf. A special werewolf. A Yorkie werewolf. 

Jenny got blamed for stabbing everyone. She goes to live with Chris and his foster family. Chris gives her licorice made from blood; he’s a vampire. They go for a walk in the woods, and she turns as he watches. He sees the Ewok-sized werewolf and obviously thinks she’s adorable. He knows her whole history and about the war between the supernatural and mafia. Chris also wants to kill Big Nick, the leader of the mob. When he talks about getting revenge, she agrees. “Arf!”

The two go to an Italian restaurant and spy on the mobsters complaining about meatballs. The monsters also have a plan to eliminate the witches and the vampires. Big Nick turns out to be Jenny’s father. 

They go to the gun store to buy bombs from Cliff. Cliff knows that they are a vampire and werewolf, and he knows about the war too. He doesn’t have a bomb, but he tells them how to blow up the Italian’s restaurant. 

Chris goes to the restaurant and gets a job there as a janitor. “Papa Nick” meets him, and it’s all very Godfathery. The old man insists that Chris eat a big plate of spaghetti– with garlic. The fangs kinda gave it away, but they know who Chris is. As they torment her vampire friend, Jenny runs into the kitchen and turns all the gas burners on. She promptly gets knocked out, and soon both of them are prisoners. Chris escapes. 

Later, Nick takes human-Jenny to a restaurant and tells her about her mother. He says the other “families” made him kill Sandra when they found out he had a connection to her. He says he’s even been protecting her. They make a plan to work together. He wants to get all the supernatural entities together in order to “cure” them all with his magic orbs. He’s already issued invitations. It’s pretty obvious that he’s lying, but she goes along with it. 

The mafia and their orbs meet up with the creatures of the night out in the woods. Jenny turns into a werewolf and tells her story to bar patrons. She ends up killing all of them. The little werewolf steals a motorcycle and heads toward the battlefield. 

At the battlefield, Papa Nick tries to talk the supernatural to death, but he eventually gets done monologuing enough to get down to business. 

Jenny shows up and explains how ferocious she is. He gets upset that she was riding a motorcycle. Nick escapes in a cloud of green smoke as the rest of the mafia try to negotiate for their lives. Jenny tells Chris that the hunt for Nick is her fight, not his. We cut back to the opening scene as Jenny kills the gangsters one by one. She does spare one guy who swears fealty to her. 

Later, that guy takes the werewolf’s head to Big Nick, who is thrilled. Nope, that was a copycat werewolf head, not Jenny’s. She’s brought Cliff, who put a bomb in the wolf’s head. 

BOOM!

The last mafia guy says, “Jenny, you’re the head of the mafia now. That’s how it works!” 

Jenny doesn’t have much for Chris to do other than be her sex slave once in a while, so she’s done with him. She gives him one of the magic orbs and leaves him in the restaurant. Then realizes something, stops, goes back in and says she needs a ride home. 

Brian’s Commentary

The werewolf looks like a rabid Ewok which is hilarious. The acting here is weird and over the top, especially Jenny and Big Nick. The weird characters are far more interesting than the fairly-generic plot. Papa Nick’s accent is way too thick to get as many lines as he’s got; he really could use subtitles. 

It’s weird and quirky, but it’s got some flaws. Still, if the concept appeals to you, it’s fun.

Kevin’s Commentary

I appreciate the amount of farting and fart jokes, an element so often lacking in horror films. The balance of strangeness and humor with the gore made a good mix in this one. Like Brian said, the plot is on the generic side if you think about it, but everything going on spices it up nicely. It’s worth a watch.