2024 We Are Zombies

• Directed by:  Francois Simard, Anouk Whissell, Yoann-Karl Whissell
• Written by: Jerry Frissen, Francois Simard, Anouk Whissell
• Stars: Alexandre Nachi, Derek Johns, Megan Peta Hill
• Run Time: 1 Hour, 20 Minutes
• Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9mPQ1ioYAg

Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone

Set in a world where the dead come back to life, as non-cannibal zombies who are in various states of functionality and have rights. We join an eccentric trio as they make their way through a world of strangeness, trying to make money and keep their grandmother safe. With greed and big money playing a role, things get violent. It’s weird and funny, with a good cast and excellent effects. We really enjoyed it.

Spoilery Synopsis

We open on a zombie walking through an alley downtown. It sneaks up on a guy getting takeout. The zombie is annoying and begs for change. Credits roll. 

Freddy complains about the beggar-zombie to Karl and then goes back to rip off the dead man’s jaw for a gold tooth. Maggie calls, and she’s got another pickup for them. We watch a news report: zombies are here, but they aren’t eating brains, so we have to just live with them. Zombies are taking all the jobs. The undead want equal rights. 

Freddy and Karl go to a man’s apartment. They’ve been called to remove the family’s grandfather, who has become living-impaired. It goes badly, and they pull the man’s head off, which only slows him down a little. Turns out, Freddy and Karl don’t really work for the Coleman company; they’re crooks. They take the old man to Don, who doesn’t want to pay full price for this one, since he’s damaged. 

We then cut to a commercial from Bob Coleman. They’re busy studying the zombies and the secrets of the mind. They keep the zombies in cages and run experiments on them. 

Karl, Freddy, and Maggie go out for lunch, and Freddy gets an ear in his fries. Stanley and Rocco, the guys from the actual Coleman company get chewed out for having their clients stolen. 

Karl and Freddy go out on another call, and this time, they’re Tased and tied to chairs. It’s now-undead-Rocco and Stanley, and they’re both really stupid. After Rocco shoots himself, Stanley sends them home and kidnaps Karl’s grandma instead. 

Karl goes to see Don, who likes him in an uncomfortable way. Don’s got a high-profile pickup for them. But first, they watch an “art show” that involves the zombies. Otto is the artist, and he’s also the client. He wants them to kidnap Zelvirella, a dead porn star. The only problem is that she’s being held by Coleman. 

Meanwhile, at Coleman, they have a new project in the works that makes zombies’ heads explode. That goes badly for Hannity, the security chief. 

Freddy and Stanley break into the Coleman cemetery and start digging. They dig up Zelvirella, who is not much more than a skeleton now. Just then, the security guys start shooting at them. 

Coleman dies in an accident and then becomes living-and-brain-impaired. Hannity is now taking over the company. 

Stanley and Rocco are even dumber than Karl and Freddy, and old Granny gets shot. 

Maggie admits that Stanley is her ex, and they all know each other. Karl knows a webcam girl that looks like Zelvirella, and maybe they can kidnap her to take to Don and Otto? She’s a ZILF. Karl goes to see the girl and convinces her to go off with them. 

Hannity tests the special gas again, and this makes peaceful old zombie Coleman into a regular, aggressive flesh-eating zombie. 

There’s a  big celebration at Otto’s place, and the press is there in force to report. Mother Teresa and all the famous living-impaired show up. Hannity releases his special gas into the air vents, which starts to affect the zombies– and they all get hungry for living flesh. 

Otto sees Zelvirella and he approves. Karl gets jealous and spills the beans about her not being the real thing. Just then, Mother Teresa breaks in and eats Otto. Don tries to make an exit and gets torn apart. 

Karl, Freddy, and Maggie are on the news as terrorists who attacked the club. They all apologize to each other for all their arguing. They all decide to fight their way out of the zombie-filled club, and many things go wrong. Turns out, they are good at fighting the undead. 

Hannity comes in and plans to expose the four heroes as terrorists. Out of the blue, Stanley takes off his mask and turns against his boss. Undead Hannity then shoots Freddy. Undead Freddy then sits up– no, he’s still alive; Hannity only shot the ring box in his pocket. Stanley has run off with the money, but he gets bitten on the way out.

Two weeks later, Granny and Rocco are living together. The zombie infection spread like crazy, and it’s now the real zombie apocalypse… 

Brian’s Commentary

It’s a very unusual take on the usual zombie tropes, all played for laughs. The gore effects and zombies are well done, but not excessive; well, OK, one of them is a bit excessive. 

It’s pretty good!

Kevin’s Commentary

I liked the unique path that this one takes. It isn’t a typical zombie apocalypse – some of them are brain damaged and some of them are highly functional – at least until the evil corporation gets involved. I liked this one a lot.