- AKA “Onsen Shaku”
- Directed by: Morihito Inoue
- Written by: Morihito Inoue
- Stars: Daniel Aguilar, Shoichiro Akaboshi, Takuya Fujimura
- Run Time: 1 Hour, 10 Minutes
- Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oK8BhY2pfY
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
It’s every bit as stupid as you might think from the title, trailer, and poster. It’s also very funny and a fun watch. It embraces the bad shark movie trope and dials it up to eleven. Don’t expect any scary horror, but it’s worth the watch.
Spoilery Synopsis
Atsumi, the Monaco of the East, is a fancy resort. We watch a guy on a boat “feed” his ex-girlfriend to a CGI shark. She’s fine, though, and hits him. Suddenly, a shark flies through the air and a muscly guy appears on deck. We cut to a woman in a jacuzzi who is attacked by a shark. Credits roll!
We hear more about Atsumi and the construction of the projects there. The chief of police isn’t happy about the project; he’s planning to retire next year, and it’s all annoying. He goes out to the beach, where another shark-eaten body has washed up. They find keys to a local onsen. Surprisingly, the mayor wants to keep it all quiet.
The chief is at the onsen, and he meets an annoying tourist, who almost immediately goes missing. Why were the victims all in the ocean naked? Their clothes were in the locker at the onsen. They bring in a shark expert, Kose, who gets really excited at the teeth marks on the victims. At the construction site, they’ve found fossils of an extint species of shark; could that be related?
A bunch of influencers come to the resort and film a guy being attacked by a shark– no, it’s a prank. Still, the influencers are swarming the place, and they all do their stereotypical “influencer” stuff. Dr. Kose explains that this ancient variety of shark has very soft cartilage instead of bones, so it might fight into tighter places than a modern shark. They could be swimming around… underground and coming up through the pipes. There’s even an animated diagram showing how this might work. We cut to influencers being eaten in hot tubs.
They evacuate the hotel, but soon, sharks start coming out of the sewers all over town. The loudspeakers announce, “Onsen sharks are now attacking people in the city,” as manhole covers explode right and left. Atsumi City is in a panic, and the mayor isn’t happy. The sharks derail a train, which goes flying to kill the mayor’s staff.
The police chief is swallowed whole by a shark, but then that muscle man from earlier shows up and punches the shark. His shirt says “Onsen Guardian,” and the sharks hate him.
The Anti-Hot-Spring-Shark Unit of the Defense Force arrives and shoots at the shark, but it releases explosive gas to kill them all. Shachi-Go is activated. It’s a special new armored submarine that can withstand the exploding sharks. The sharks release an EMP that makes it crash. The shark laughs evilly.
The Prime Minister gives a speech about destroying the city of Atsumi to save everyone else. The Americans show up with their Bathbuster bombs to solve the problem once the evacuation is complete.
The police chief survived his attack, but now he’s got an infection and is turning purple. They need a vaccine from the Onsen Shark’s fins to save him. His wife won’t give up on him. Mayor Mangan realizes that this is all his fault and feels bad. He’s attacked by sharks, but the Onsen Guardian saves him. The mayor explains that he needs to capture one of the sharks, for the chief.
We get a research montage as the scientists design and 3D-print a new submarine to fight the sharks. Before the shark-killing sub is finished, the sharks counterattack, but they are distracted. The sub launches from a catapult with Kose, Mangan, and the Guardian aboard. They all eat submarine sandwiches as they wait.
The sharks find the sub and attack. The sharks shoot their EMP blast, but the sub has shields. Two of the three sharks get harpooned, and the Guardian swims out to kill the third one personally. They retrieve one of the bodies, so they can make a vaccine for the chief.
Suddenly, a whole swarm of hundreds of sharks appears. The group debates the morality of wiping out the entire shark species by dropping a building on them. They fire a torpedo at the resort’s foundation, and the whole hi-rise tower falls apart, bombarding the many sharks beneath it.
Then the “King Shark” shows up, wearing a literal crown, and he’s ridiculously huge. He eats the Guardian, so Kose and Mangan lose hope, but wait– the Onsen Guardian is inside the shark’s belly, fighting to get out.
Out of weapons, the submarine flies into the belly of the monster. The Guardian, inside, gives a mega-punch to the King Shark’s heart, knocking it way up into the sky, where Mayor Mangan shoots it, causing it to explode.
A month later, the mayor’s face is on a package of steamed buns just like he wanted. The Chief has recovered, and he watches as the Onsen Guardian rises out of the water, ready for more battles.
… And there is an after-credit scene.
Brian’s Commentary
This is the funniest, and also the most stupid, film we’ve seen in a while. It’s a perfect live-action anime. It picks on all the shark movie tropes as well as Japanese TV, anime, and influencer culture. The special effects are ridiculously, intentionally bad, which is part of why it’s so hilarious. The acting is way, way over the top as well.
Just watch the trailer. If it appeals to you, you will love this.
It’s crazy stupid, but it also may very well appear in my top ten for the year. Awesome!
Kevin’s Commentary
They effectively manage to spoof a lot of things in this movie in such a short package. It’s stupid but funny, and I had a good time seeing it. They did a good job putting this together.