- Directed by: Rhys Frake-Waterfield
- Written by: Rhys Frake-Waterfield
- Stars: Jude Evan Lloyd, Richard Brake, Robert Englund
- Run Time: 1 Hour, 22 Minutes
- Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMV5gZveHZI
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
It’s a modern telling of Pinocchio, created by Geppetto as a companion for his grandson, and his wholesome journey to becoming a real boy. Actually, it’s brutal and violent.
The practical effects were impressive – the closing credits show a series of behind-the-scenes clips.
We’re both in agreement that the series is getting better as they go along. This was quite good.
Spoilery Synopsis
We hear about the narrator’s grandson James, who came to live with him. Then James’s best friend died. The old man made something for James that would never die… Pinocchio…
James and Geppetto talk about death and life. Geppetto then coughs, which in movie tropes, means he’s dying. That night, James chases something small throughout the house. Turns out, it’s Pinocchio, who lives in a creepy-looking hole in the basement wall. That is one creepy doll.
Geppetto insists that Pinocchio’s existence remain a secret, so he can’t go to school with James. Instead, Pinocchio talks to his “wood mother,” made of the same wood as him. She tells him to take human flesh and wear it.
The next day, Pinocchio does go to school with James, pretending to be a doll. Pinocchio watches a really fun chain of accidents that would make “Final Destination” proud (this is why I don’t go to the gym). When the bullies come for James, Pinocchio observes. When Dudley and Mia see the doll move, James says it’s an “AI Thing.” When James goes to the dentist, Pinocchio observes.
There’s a traffic accident on the way home, and Pinocchio goes to the hospital with him. “Best friends protect each other,” he says as he leaves. He tracks down the drunk driver in a nearby room and gets his somewhat excessive revenge. He takes some of the man’s organs to make himself more real.
The wood mother is thrilled to hear that Pinocchio has killed someone, so now things are just beginning. She sends an evil-looking cricket to assist him.
Meanwhile, Mia finds some home movies and watches them. In the film, Geppetto talks about cheating death and what he’s done. The first experiment went really badly.
Pinocchio and the cricket go after the dentist next. He gets his dentribution on her. After that, there’s a trio of bullies that don’t live long.
Geppetto realizes that Pinocchio is gone, and James and his friends are gone as well.
With teeth, eyes, hair, lips, and some organs, Pinocchio sits in front of a mirror and pretties himself up. Geppetto shows up and drives Pinocchio home. Pinocchio realizes that the wood mother has tricked him. He smashes both her and the cricket with a hammer.
Geppetto shows Pinocchio where he was created, and it’s really something. There’s a special magic tree that makes magical wood. Pinocchio was supposed to be the reincarnation of James’s dead friend, Zach. He plans to kill Pinocchio and end the experiment. Instead, Geppetto shoots the annoying friend, Dudley.
Pinocchio gets the drop on Geppetto with the shotgun, and the doll shoots his maker. He mostly misses and releases the really bad wood creature that was in a cage behind him. The house burns down, and James, Mia, and Pinocchio get out. “I’m gonna need a new dentist,” jokes James. And a couple quick wrap ups make us think it isn’t really all over.
Brian’s Commentary
The 5th film from The Twisted Childhood Universe after “Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey” (2023), “Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey 2” (2024), “Peter Pan’s Neverland Nightmare” (2025) and “Bambi: The Reckoning” (2025).
I thought the special effects were quite good, except for the cricket. It was plenty gory and gross, and all the right people got messed up. Still, that scene in the gym didn’t really advance the plot at all and seemed like it was just there to add a few completely random kills to the body count.
Kevin’s Commentary
They earned the R rating through the gore, which is excessive and realistic looking. Though also a little tedious.
Somehow this managed to be both unexpected and predictable at the same time. Yes, it was a twist that Geppetto was evil, but would anyone expect Richard Brake to be playing a benign good guy? Though I do think it was an improvement over the previous Twisted Childhood Universe tales. They are getting better at them.
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