- Directed by: Jonathan Zuck
- Written by: Dick Grunert, Ryan R Johnson, James Kondelik
- Stars: Alice Eve, Eric Michael Cole, Jim Klock
- Run Time: 1 Hour, 27 Minutes
- Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUdPlZgXOjE
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
A newlywed couple on a yacht excursion encounters the double whammy of a psycho guy and a psycho shark who make their trip the worst ever. Flaky people doing clumsy things and making bad decisions accelerate the chaos. It’s not the worst shark movie or the worst CGI that we’ve seen, but it’s not a great film. It’s stupid, but at least it wasn’t dull and had some entertainment value.
Spoilery Synopsis
We get a very ominous voiceover about a woman going missing in the sea. After that, we cut to a woman swimming in the ocean. We get an underwater view of something under there near her. Chomp– one bite! Her husband jumps in after her, and that goes badly too. Credits roll as we hear about global warming changing predators’ hunting habits.
We open on Tina’s wedding, and her father gives a speech about her and Tom. We soon see that the happy couple doesn’t really like each other very much. The next morning, the groom wakes up out on the beach, with her back in the room. Everyone is happy for the couple– except for the couple.
Tom’s friend Rick rents a boat for the wedding party. Tina hates the ocean and can’t swim. Tom doesn’t really feel it either. Still, it’s a three-hour tour, and Rick paid a lot for it. They all get on the boat, peer pressure and all. The captain explains that there’s never been a shark attack in these waters, and then they set sail.
Tina admits to her friends that she’s getting an annulment. Tom’s a heavy-duty environmentalist, and she’s a lawyer for the big corporations. This has broken up their romance. Tina’s sister says he’s always been too high-and-mighty for her. During all this, we see a huge fin following the boat. The boat hits “something,” and both the anchor and the captain go overboard. He soon comes up, but then a shark bites his leg off.
Through a series of rapid bad decisions, Tina goes overboard, Tom dives in after her, and the boat catches fire. A fishing boat arrives on the scene and pulls Tom and Tina out of the water. The four people on the burning boat swim over to the fishing boat before their boat explodes. The shark finishes off the captain.
The fishing boat captain says there’s a storm coming, so he can’t take them back to their resort. Everyone thinks there’s something “off” with this new guy, Roy. He serves them food, and they’re mostly all condescending toward him. He’ll go south and says there’s a port there.
Tom and Tina explore their feelings. Roy picks up on it and talks to Tina, giving her a pep talk. Roy says it’ll take a few hours to get them to port, but they stopped seeing the shore a while ago. Suddenly, everyone passes out; Roy drugged them all. “Get some rest. Tomorrow’s gonna be a long day.”
When they all wake up, Brittany is tied up in a shark cage as Roy prepares to lower her into the water. He cuts her and drops her in… as bait. The CGI shark rapidly approaches. Roy shoots at the shark when it gets close. Brittany gets out of the cage, and this time, the shark gets her.
Roy explains that he wants revenge on the shark. That was his wife in the opening sequence. He’s been using homeless people as bait, but now he’s got a bunch of stranded tourists.
Suddenly, a police siren approaches, and a tiny little boat with two cops is out looking for their missing boat. When they see Brittany’s arm floating past, the jig is up, and there’s a shootout. Both cops wind up as shark food, and Rick gets shot as well. Tom also gets knocked out and thrown overboard.
Rashinda jumps overboard to swim to the police boat, but Roy runs her over with his boat– the propellers chew her up better than the shark.
Way out in the ocean, Tom wakes up, not drowned or eaten. He starts making his way over to the police boat. He uses their radio to call the police.
Everyone gets untied and fights back all at once. Out of nowhere, the shark leaps up onto the boat and eats Rick. Soon after, Roy lowers Tina into the ocean in the shark cage. The rope holding the cage breaks, and the cage sinks to the bottom and opens right up. Since she can’t swim, she soon drowns. Out of nowhere, Tom shows up in scuba equipment and rescues her. When the shark comes after Tom, Tina grabs a knife, jumps on its back (like a bucking bronco ride that was mentioned earlier) and stabs it repeatedly.
Tom, Tina, and Tina’s sister sneak back onto Roy’s boat and cover him in chum. He gets the drop on them until Tina shoots him with an air tank. “Come on, finish him!” they yell at the shark. The shark does his part. CHOMP! CRUNCH CRUNCH.
Eventually, the boat police show up. We watch Roy’s stripped skull landing next to his wife’s stripped skull at the bottom of the ocean.
On the news, Tina is now talking against the corporations; she’s on Tom’s side now.
Brian’s Commentary
The CGI isn’t atrocious, but it is pretty obvious. The sequence of nonsense that led to the first boat’s demise was so contrived that it’s ridiculous. The growling and bone-crunching noises when the shark eats someone are a nice touch.
It’s very similar to last year’s “Dangerous Animals,” only with a larger cast of idiots. Except it’s really, really stupid.
Kevin’s Commentary
Roy said that he’s been tracking this one particular shark because he tagged it. Had he been tagging stuff along with him on their honeymoon in that opening scene? But that’s the only real point to nitpick in this movie; everything else is spot on. OK, no, not really.
We like sharks that growl and make bone-crunching, juicy noises when they attack people.
It wasn’t truly awful all things considered. It’s a really stupid movie, but I’m going to give it a moderate thumbs-up.
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