2026 Ice Cream Man

• Directed by: Eli Roth
• Written by: Eli Roth
• Stars: Ari Millen, Charlie Zeltzer, Shiloh O’Reilly
• Run Time: 1 Hour, 26 Minutes
• Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JeUjIqK_4c

Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone

The Ice Cream Man comes to town with treats for the kiddos. The result is horror with dark humor and over the top gore and violence with many creative kills.

Neither of us were very impressed by it.

Spoilery Synopsis

We open on a stereotypical suburb with children playing outside, so we know this is just a movie. Credits roll.

It’s a baseball game, and all the kids get ice cream afterward. Jared’s team loses, and Hank, the coach’s son, is a bully. Jared’s older sister, Lizzie takes him to the store, where Roger the shopkeeper really hates kids. She also points out that Jared is lactose intolerant, so he can’t have any ice cream.

A strange ice cream commercial keeps playing automatically on everyone’s phones, and Jared keeps noticing people puking on the side of the road.

That night, the ice cream man drives by the children’s homes, and the kids start killing their parents in various brutal ways. In their minds, they see silly cartoon versions of the gory deaths.

Apparently, only Jared and his family have been left out of the murder spree. School is nearly deserted, and many of the kids who do show up are covered in ice cream or blood. It takes far too long for the adults to notice the kids have become zombies.

The ice cream man drives by the school, and all the kids get up and march out for more ice cream. Soon, they’ve killed all the teachers, and only Jared, Tommy, and Mia are left uninfluenced. They call Lizzie for help, so the older sister runs through the neighborhood to find them.

This just goes on and on with running and screaming for six more hours until the three kids get into the church basement, where they find the source of the ice cream. The old priest explains that this is all his fault. The ice cream man got blamed for the actions of a pedophile priest and convicted of a crime he didn’t commit. The lawyer involved was Jared’s grandfather. A necromancer came to visit the ice cream man and promised him revenge. To stop the ice cream man, they have to dig up and kill the necromancer. The priest explains how to kill the necromancer, and it’s a convoluted process.

All the characters get in Chris’s truck and drive to the graveyard. The ice cream man is already there, waiting for them. They dig up the grave and there are two bodies. They behead one body, which turns out to be Jared’s father, and their mother is the other. Meanwhile, Chris is killed; Mia and Tommy are turned to the other side, leaving Lizzie and Jared all on their own.

We see that the old priest we saw earlier was actually the necromancer. The ice cream man drives off with the children following behind…

Brian’s Commentary

This is not a remake of “Ice Cream Man” (1995). It’s not even close. It’s probably more similar to “Weapons” (2025) than anything else. It’s basically a bunch of possessed children killing adults in ridiculous ways.

It did have some interesting, creative kills, but it didn’t have much of anything else. Overall, this wasn’t very good.

Kevin’s Commentary

Apparently adults don’t eat ice cream in this town, only the kids.

We’re just along for the ride watching things happen because… reasons. The kids go “Children of the Corn” on all the adults because they ate special treats from the Ice Cream Man. The movie just seemed like a delivery system for over the top gore and violence for much of the journey. But we do finally get an explanation of sorts. And a nasty surprise at the end. That was a bummer of an ending.

I thought it was kind of clunky without enough going for it. I didn’t care for it.