2026 Beware Boiuna

• Directed by: Mike P. Nelson
• Written by: Tony Giglio, Alan B. McElroy, Mike P. Nelson
• Stars: Logan Marshall-Green, Jessica Rothe, Kiana Madeira
• Run Time: 1 Hour, 43 Minutes
• Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fn4UcgzRhg

Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone

A team of doctors and environmentalists set off on a mission in the Amazon rain forest that goes badly when a gigantic snake gets interested in them. There wasn’t a lot here that we haven’t seen before in various combinations, but it’s well put together and after a first half that was on the talky side things moved nicely. Very good special effects. We both liked it.

Spoilery Synopsis

We open on the Amazon River. We cut to an illegal gold mining outfit and the men filming the raid on the place. There are even larger camps upriver, a secret place. Suddenly, a giant snake attacks! Credits roll.

We cut to Alli, Callum, Miguel, Lena, and the others on their hired boat. “Why do I always feel like we’re being watched?” She asks. “Because we are,” is the reply. It’s a medical mission ship. Lena is from around here, and she left because she didn’t want to die. She wants to find her brother, Jorge, who’s at one of their later stops.

They dock, and the locals are skeptical of their helpfulness. The leader, Alvaro, talks about how the symbol of a single snake represents healing and order. Not long after, Alli watches one of the locals eaten by a caiman.

A boat load of “surveyors,” including Brennan, come to town, and our guys don’t like them much. Lena tells about Biouna, the Mother of the Waters, a giant snake god. Lena and Alli run into one of the surveyors and accidentally kill him in a fight. Alli’s been in town about eight hours and already caused two deaths.

The next day, the medical boat continues on up the river. Back on the survey boat, Brennan is still waiting for Shawn, his brother, to show up. They find the body not long after. A little boy saw what happened and tells him.

Brennan calls Dr. Miguel on the radio and tells him about the murder. The girls give their reasons. Brenna threatens to come and get them. The boat captain, Raul, knows an illegal side river where Brennan will not be able to find them.

Lena tells Alli her childhood backstory about her and her brother, Jorge. The engine breaks down, and Lena gets ready to climb into the water, but she’s soon dissuaded by a large, dead crocodile. All signs point to a giant snake.

At night, they approach a lumber camp, but it appears to be deserted and heavily damaged. Brennan and his men are close behind. They find one man who’s really messed up, half-eaten by a giant snake. “Boiuna,” whispers Lena. The snake, still unseen, grabs Miguel and drags him off into the jungle.

Lena and Anni run back to the boat, where Brennab’s people have their friends at gunpoint. It’s a standoff until the snake makes an appearance and kills several people. Alli, Lena, and Raul run to the boat, but it has been sabotaged by Brennan.

After eating Raul, Boiuna capsizes the big three-story boat. Alli laughs at being the last survivor and then spots Lena. The snake grabs Alli, who gets eaten… twice.

Lena is still intact, and now she’s trying to help Callum, who got shot in the confusion. Callum soon dies, and Lena thinks Brennan did it, so they fight some more. After learning that the Amazon is full of dangers, they two try to work together.

The two are suddenly captured by Jorge, of all people. They argue about where they belong. After Boiuna’s next attack, Lena ends up stuck in quicksand as the snake slides right past her. The snake is still dragging Raul behind it, so she grabs that rope and pulls herself out.

Eventually, Lena comes to a gold mining camp, also deserted, and calls for help on the radio.

She hides in a pipe-laying machine and uses the big claw to grab the snake and squeeze it. It doesn’t go easily and puts up a fight until Brennan shows up and cuts it with a chainsaw. The snake then swallows him whole.

Lena’s about to give herself up to the snake when Jorge and his friends arrive to save the day.

Brian’s Commentary

There’s no way Lena’s not going to die of an infection after all that.

It’s basically “Anaconda” without the campy silliness.

The gore effects are really well done, and there are a lot of them, but the first half is really talky. The snake, when we finally see it, is a well-done mostly practical creature. The Amazon setting is used to its full potential, full of various non-snake dangers as well as the big one, Boiuna.

I was entertained.

Kevin’s Commentary

We start out with a giant snake attack at the beginning so that we can have a long stretch of character set up and not a lot interesting happening. It’s a familiar formula that works sometimes and sometimes not so much. I thought this one takes a bit too long getting to the good stuff again.

There were hints of “Predator” and a short battle scene that made me think of Ripley gearing up in the exoskeleton cargo mover in “Aliens.” And of course the whole thing reminds one of a more serious “Anaconda.” But it was well made and despite the yakky stretch in the first half I was entertained overall. I’d call it a win.