1973 Flesh For Frankenstein

• AKA “Andy Warhol’s Frankenstein” and “Frankenstein 3D”
• Directed by: Antonio Margheriti, Paul Morrissey
• Written by: Paul Morrisey, Tonino Guerra, Pat Hackett
• Stars: Joe Dallesandro, Udo Kier, Dalila Do Lazzaro
• Run Time: 1 Hour, 35 Minutes
• Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joeK_X4vYzU

Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone

It’s a strange and raunchy version of the Frankenstein story with lots of dark humor. The doctor creates a male and female at the same time with the intention of breeding a personal race of beings that will obey only him. The visuals, script, and direction are interesting and the cast is a collection of strange characters. We both thought it was offbeat, weird, and entertaining.

Spoilery Synopsis

As the credits roll, we watch a little boy and girl, Erik and Monica, “operate” on a doll and put it in a guillotine. Later, we see the two children in a carriage with their mother, Baroness Katrin Frankenstein. Up at the castle, Baron Frankenstein yells at Otto about not keeping the lab clean.

We cut to the lab, where Frankenstein has created a perfect woman to accompany his perfect man. No– the men he’s been working on are all just bits and pieces. He talks to his wife/sister about sending the children away to school, but she doesn’t approve.

Two young farmhands talk about Sascha wanting to become a monk. One of them is Nicholas, and Katrin calls him out for messing with all the women. She tells him to report to her at the castle tomorrow morning.

Meanwhile, Frankenstein tells Otto that he needs to find the head of a male who loves women a whole bunch. He needs to be the start of a whole new race. He tells a story about his visit to a whorehouse when he was young. What he really needs is… a Serbian!

Meanwhile, at the whorehouse in town Sascha and Nicholas arrive and want to play. Sascha’s not really interested in the girls; he only has eyes for Nicholas. The baron and Otto stand outside to see who comes out. They take one look at Sascha and decide that his head is the one they want. They soon take him by surprise and take his head with a big, curved hedge-trimmer.

The two villains head back to their lab and connect the head to the already-assembled man’s body they’ve been building.

Nicholas reports to the baroness as ordered. She has a job for him… in the bedroom.

The scientists work on the woman, and she wakes up– until Frankenstein pulls out her organs and apparently orgasms. He puts her organs back inside and then just has regular sex with her. “Why are you looking at me, you filthy thing? Turn around!” he commands. “To know death is to fuck life– right in the gallbladder!”

Frankenstein and Otto turn on the electricity, and both his creatures wake up. The next project will be to reduce the gestation period so their offspring will grow more quickly.

We cut to the dining room, where Frankenstein, his wife, and children are served by Nicholas. Otto brings in the two creatures to sit at the table for dinner with the family. It’s awkward and ridiculous.

The monster, with Sascha’s head and brain, still has eyes for Nicholas, who clearly recognizes him. Katrin explains that she doesn’t know much about what her husband does, and he wants to check out the laboratory himself.

Meanwhile, in the lab, Erik and Monica play with a disembodied hand and watch a beating heart. When their father shows up, they clear right out.

The servant, Olga, comes into the lab, looking for the children, and finds the man and woman. Before she can do anything, Otto catches her and chases her into the torture chamber, where he has his way with her. He rips her open and pulls her guts out.

It’s finally time to make the two creatures mate. She kisses him, but he doesn’t respond. She looks good, but since he’s playing for the wrong team, he isn’t aroused. Frankenstein takes the failure badly. He blames his wife.

Nicholas breaks into the lab and talks to Sascha’s head, which is on a much taller body now. Sascha speaks; he doesn’t really care about his life, he just wants to be dead. Nicholas starts to lead them outside, but Frankenstein and Otto intervene. They knock out Nicholas and plan to use his head on the monster next. Katrin shows up, and she’s fine with all of it.

Katrin decides she wants to have sex with the monster, and Frankenstein is willing to let her try. The two go off to her bedroom and get to work. They start making out, but then she tells him to squeeze her tight, and he does– until she can’t breathe and dies.

Downstairs, Otto tears open the woman creature as restrained Nicholas is forced to watch. Frankenstein comes in, sees what happened, and kills Otto. The male creature carries Katrin in at this point. The monster then turns on Frankenstein, who loses his hand before getting impaled. He still manages to give a speech before dying.

Sascha/The Monster says he’d rather be dead than go on like this. He tears himself open, and all his innards fall out on the floor.

The two children come in and find Nicholas still tied up as they look at the pile of dead bodies. They each pick up a scalpel and move in toward Nicholas…

Brian’s Commentary

Although it’s called “Andy Warhol’s Frankenstein,” Andy Warhol really had nothing to do with any of it other than a few visits to the set. They only used his name for advertising purposes, although there is a great deal of gaudy, tacky artworks on the walls.

There are some interesting gore effects, although the color and consistency of the “blood” doesn’t hold up. It took us a long while to put two and two together to see that Frankenstein and Katrin were brother and sister as well as husband and wife; it’s no wonder the kids can’t speak. It was filmed in 3D, and there are some really obvious shots designed to take advantage of that.

This one is gory, sexy, funny, and just plain weird. All kinds of weird. It’s not exactly what I’d call good, but it’s definitely unusual.

Kevin’s Commentary

I’d seen this before and enjoyed it just as much this time around. Everything about it is just weird and slightly off, with a 70s vibe running through it, and that’s what makes it good. It’s weird, gross, creepy, and funny all at once.