2004 Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid

• Director: Dwight H. Little
• Writers: Hans Bauer, Jim Cash
• Stars: Morris Chestnut, KaDee Strickland, Eugene Byrd
• Runtime: 97 minutes
• YouTube Trailer Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnNrDMhGBIo

Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone

When a pharmaceutical company gets information on an orchid that only blooms for a limited time, only grows in Borneo, and could have incredible medical uses, a group goes off on an expedition to collect some. As the title hints, there are big snakes in the mix. And human mistakes and greed. It’s not a great film, but it’s well put together and managed to entertain us both.

Spoilery Synopsis

As credits roll, we open on some jungle people hunting a tiger, or maybe it’s hunting them. The tiger might be the least of these guys’ problems, as a giant anaconda eats them instead.

In the big city, Gordon is about to lose his pharmaceutical company due to a lack of performance. Jack explains about the blood orchid, a plant in Borneo that’s extremely rare and might be able to extend human life indefinitely. The orchid is only in bloom for another two weeks, so they need to hurry to Borneo and find some more.

In Borneo, there’s trouble with the charter boat; no one will go upriver until the rainy season ends… in three weeks. There’s one guy who will do it; Gordon, Gail, and Jack go into a seedy bar and find Bill Johnson, who wants fifty thousand for the journey. Ben, Cole, Tran, and some other characters introduce themselves at the docks the next day. There’s some banter and hijinks as we get to know the characters a little.

Bill’s little monkey pet takes a side quest and runs into trouble. They can hear the screams on the boat. In the morning, they all wonder where the monkey went.

Gail falls overboard and runs into a crocodile. Bill shows us that he’s a badass and fights it. We see, but the characters don’t, as the anaconda eats the whole dead crocodile. Also, the not-so-dead monkey comes back for an unexpected jump scare.

Because of the rainy season, the river is flooded, and debris jams the propellers; now they’re headed towards a waterfall in the broken boat. There’s literally no possible way the boat could survive going over the waterfall, and we were pleasantly surprised that it didn’t. With everyone in the water, we see the snake again, but it doesn’t get anyone.

Bill has a plan to hike to a place where they can be rescued. It only involves a short walk through the jungle. Bill calls his friend John to come and pick them up at a rendezvous point. The group then has to walk through a flooded region, and we see the snake is right alongside them. When the snake reveals itself and eats Ben, everyone sees it.

Bill says that was the largest he’s ever seen, a real freak of nature. Fortunately, they’re very territorial, so there won’t be another one for miles. Gail calls off the expedition, but Jack and Gordon refuse to stop. They all argue about how much is riding on this expedition. Cole is the “We’re all gonna die” guy, and he gets annoying fast. He shuts up when he finds leeches all over his body.

Meanwhile, on the boat, John is attacked by the anaconda and crashes the boat. The group finds the wreckage and manages to salvage a few things. Tran mentions that maybe they can find help with a nearby tribe of headhunters. When they find John’s body, Bill explains how anacondas spit up their food, also how they all congregate during mating season, so there may be more than just one.

They come to the tribe’s camp and it smells bad. There’s a dead anaconda there with half a man hanging out of it. The villagers are all gone now. Jack figures out that these anacondas are so big because they’ve been eating the orchids and have become immortal: they may never stop growing.

Jack unleashes a poison spider on Gordon, who tries to use the sat phone to call for help. Jack doesn’t want to quit just yet. The snake shows up and eats Gordon, who is too paralyzed to fight back. Jack then steals the raft while everyone’s distracted.

The others try to follow Jack on foot, and naturally, they get separated. Tran gets eaten, but Sam beheads the snake. Whoops- another sneak jumps out and grabs Cole, who miraculously survives.

Jack, meanwhile, heads downriver and finds his orchids. The others soon catch up, and they all know what Jack did. The flowers are surrounded by baby anacondas, and Sam is forced to retrieve them. There’s a struggle over the bag of flowers, and Jack is bitten by one of those spiders and falls into the nest. The snakes are all so distracted by eating him that Sam escapes.

Bill shoots a flare gun, and the whole rain-soaked hillside explodes, burying the nest, the flowers, and everything else. Bill, Sam, Cole, and Gail all laugh at their luck as they row the raft further downstream.

Brian’s Commentary

It’s got a very “TV Movie” vibe to it, but it was, in fact, a theatrical release. It’s also the last film in the franchise to focus mostly on practical effects, but there’s still plenty of CGI going on.

The story is very predictable, and you know how it’s all going to play out. Still, it’s nicely paced, the characters are distinctive, and it more or less all makes sense.

It’s not great, but it’s entertaining if you like big CGI snakes.

Kevin’s Commentary

I was bracing myself for awfulness and was pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t too bad. Quite entertaining in fact. The use of CGI is heavy and obvious, but the story moves well, and the cast does a decent job. Watching it was a pleasurable experience.