Death House (2017) Review

Directed by: Harrison Smith

Written by: Gunnar Hansen and Harrison Smith

Starring: Cody Longo, Cortney Palm, Adrienne Barbeau

1 hour, 35 minutes

Death House (2017)
Death House (2017)

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This one starts out with Tony Todd and his prisoner, a girl whom he reaches inside and pulls out a fetus.

The titles come up, and the scene changes to two FBI agents, Boon and Novak, who are touring/evaluating a special high-security prison, known as the Death House, where the worst of the worst are kept. Boon sees the man (Danny Trejo) that killed her mother, and she shoots him, but all he says is “Free them!” Novak watches a female version of Leatherface, whose mind is going to be reprogrammed to make her safe.

There’s a doctor who has a whole room full of people seated on curare, that she keeps in a perpetual state of sedation to break down their personalities before replacing them.

The prison is broken into nine levels, and on the ninth level are “The Five Evils” that are confined in virtual environments that keep the prisoners calm. We then see a report on each of the five. Meanwhile, an evil child stabs a guard, pulls out his guts, and inserts a blinking object.

Then we see Boon and Novak showering together and admiring each other’s tattoos for no particular reason. They don’t remember much about their own pasts.

After that, we get a demonstration of the mind-wiping process. Then, we meet “The Three Satans,” three different guys with the same delusion. They are all kept in a cell together. Dr. Redmayne likes her job a little too much. Suddenly, the power goes off– that guard had an EMP bomb stuck in his gut.

Commentary

This is called “The Expendables of Horror,” as it has a ridiculous number of horror-actor cameos from people you’ll recognize (and some you won’t) from lots of classic horror movies. A lot of the characters seem to exist only for the purpose of being cameos.

There’s no explanation for nearly anything. There are crazy scientists and super-powered criminals, and Two FBI agents that may be something special, but we never find out for sure. And what the hell was Tony Todd doing?

This movie has a lot going on, and it’s not truly terrible, but there was so much wasted potential that it’s the true crime of this movie.

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