- Directed by Eric Weston
- Written by Joseph Garofalo, Eric Weston
- Stars Clint Howard, R.G. Armstrong, Joe Cortese
- Run Time: 1 Hour, 27 Minutes
- Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXT61J08bLU
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
It’s kind of dated and hokey around the edges, but entertaining at its core. The technology and whole vibe are very 80s, which actually makes it kind of fun.
Synopsis
We watch as a group of conquistadors disembarks from their ship. The priest says that Lorenzo Esteban is banished from Spain and condemned to suffer eternal damnation. Later, we see Esteban with a group of his cultists doing dark rituals and human sacrifice.
We cut to the present, where Stanley Coopersmith causes the team to lose another soccer game for West Andover Military Academy. Bubba is the school bully, and he hates Stanley. The coach suggests to Bubba that if Coopersmith got hurt, they wouldn’t lose so many games. Stanley’s an orphan and he’s only there because of government assistance, another reason he’s so disliked.
Stanley goes to church to find Reverend Jameson and goes down to the old basement underneath. He runs into the creepy old Sarge, who’s a drunk and also hates Stanley. Jameson tells Bubba’s mother, a big donor, about the history of the old church, which was founded by Father Esteban a long time ago. Before being executed, Esteban vowed to return and get his revenge.
Stanley’s been assigned a work detail to clean out the basement of the ancient church. He finds a secret room down there, and inside that, he finds an old tomb with many old books.
Stanley has a nightmare about Satanists and is late for his Latin class. Latin final exams are coming up soon. Stanley mentions using a computer to make sure his project is accurate.
That night, working on the computer, Stanley types in some of the Latin from his book. It translates Esteban’s words for him. It mostly confirms what Father Jameson said earlier: Esteban will return.
The school’s headmaster chews out Stanley for being bullied and unconfident. He actually spanks Stanley with his riding crop. The Colonel’s secretary finds Stanley’s book and tries to read it while he’s working, and he’s almost mauled by pigs.
The bullies sabotage Stanley’s homework project, and he thinks they also took his book. Bubba denies having it. He takes the whole computer system, an Apple 2, down to the dungeon to continue his translation work. It gives him the ingredients to perform a black mass, which he soon attempts.
Jake, the cook in the mess hall, is nice to Stanley and shows him his dog, who just had puppies. He gives one of the puppies to Stanley
The black mass can’t be completed without blood and some consecrated Host. He goes to steal some Host from the church but just can’t do it. He leaves and is immediately attacked by the students wearing scary masks. He’s knocked out. He wakes up and thinks the spell worked. Meanwhile, the computer does some weird stuff before it shuts off.
He goes back to the dungeon to feed his puppy, but Sarge hears him and catches him down there. When Sarge goes after the puppy, Stanley hits him. The two fight, but the computer activates and makes Sarge’s head spin around, killing him.
Stanley finds an even more secret room behind his secret room, and this one’s full of skeletons. He stashes Sarge’s body in there.
Elsewhere, the Colonel’s secretary, who still has Stanley’s book, goes home with it. Since she’s the only woman in the movie, we get a naked shower scene. That soon gets interrupted when she’s eaten by pigs. The book on the table in the next room simply vanishes.
Tonight’s the big pep rally before the big game tomorrow. Bubba and the guys start picking on Stanley and they threaten his little dog. The Colonel only sees Stanley and throws him off the team.
The bad guys go to check out Sarge’s place down in the basement, and they find Stanley’s secret place when they hear his dog barking. They find the dog, the computer, and all the books. Bubba sacrifices the little dog, and the computer screen goes blank.
Stanley comes back to the dungeon, and he knows exactly what’s happened. The computer signals that it needs human blood.
The Latin teacher watches as Stanley steals the consecrated Host from the church. He’s going to finish the ritual as instructed. The teacher follows him down into the secret dungeon, arriving at just the wrong moment. Finally, Stanley has human blood to offer.
Upstairs, Reverend Jameson is giving a pre-game sermon to all the cadets. Esteban possesses Stanley. They see the Jesus statue bleeding, and they all freak out, except for Jameson, who gets a nail in his forehead. Naturally, the doors won’t open, and the computer does a graphic show that computers of the time weren’t capable of actually doing.
Stanley floats up out of a hole in the floor with a sword. The Colonel orders Stanley to stop this, but the Colonel loses his head. The pigs swarm in and kill some of the guys, while others burn in the rapidly-spreading fire. A few holdovers are simply beheaded by Stanley’s sword.
Only Bubba makes it to the dungeon, but he’s killed by the reanimated corpse of Sarge. We get a message on screen:
“Suffering from shock and catatonic withdrawal, attributed to his having witnessed the fiery death of his dear friends and teachers, Stanley Coopersmith, sole survivor of the tragic accident, was admitted to Sunnydale Asylum. He remains there still.”
We get one more computer message: “I, Stanley Coopersmith, will return!”
Commentary
It’s a whole movie centered around what would later be “Google Translate.”
The sets aren’t particularly good. The special effects are pretty awful. The technology is thirty years out of date. Otherwise, it’s really entertaining, and the addition of technology to Satanism is pretty interesting. The gore is good, and no one can say that these guys didn’t deserve a little revenge.
It’s definitely dated in some areas, but it’s really good otherwise.