The Babysitter (2017) Review

  • Director: McG
  • Writer: Brian Duffield
  • Stars: Judah Lewis, Samara Weaving, Robbie Amell
  • Run Time: 1 Hour, 25 Minutes

Synopsis

Cole is a nerdy kid, afraid of everything, and he’s friends with Melanie, who’s father is a jerk. Some kids start to bully Cole, and Bee runs them off. She’s his babysitter. Cole’s parents are going away for the night, and Melanie talks Cole into staying up late to see what his babysitter does after he’s supposed to be asleep.

Cole and Bee have a good time over the weekend. He stays up past his bedtime as planned to see what happens. The doorbell rings and Cole goes to see what’s happening. Could it be an orgy?

It’s not an orgy. There are six teenagers playing “truth or dare.” It soon becomes a kissing game, and it’s all very sweet and romantic— until Bee drives two daggers into Samuel’s skull. What? Cole watches in shock as they catch Samuel’s blood in goblets. “Things can get messy when you make a deal with the devil,” Bee explains.

They open up a big book of Devil’s verses. Bee mentions “going upstairs and getting the blood of the innocent.” Cole immediately calls 911. They all sneak into his room and draw blood with a syringe while he pretends to be asleep. Cole passes out.

He wakes up tied to a chair. Bee explains that all this was for a science project. The cops arrive, and things go badly with what Kevin called “cartoon physics.” There’s a lot of gore and screaming. Two cops and two teenagers are soon dead in the juiciest manner possible.

Cole escapes, but rather than run to the police or another house, he decides to grab some fireworks and crawl under the house, planning a “Home Alone” style counterattack. Sonya comes in after him with a knife, but he gets he seals her in with a mousetrap and some fireworks.

One of the teens, Max, catches Cole but releases him to go fight the school bully, who is egging Cole’s house. The bully kick’s Cole’s ass and leaves. Cole runs and hides in his treehouse with Max right behind him. Max climbs up, and soon Max is hanging from his neck, dead.

This leaves only Bee to deal with. Cole runs to Melanie’s house, but do they call 911? No. Bee wanders around the house with a shotgun while the two kids hide. Cole runs back to his own house and finds several of the dead bodies, including the cheerleader, who isn’t dead yet.

Cole grabs Bee’s Devil-book-thing and threatens to burn it. Bee explains about mixing the blood of the innocent with the blood of the sacrifice, and then you get everything you want. Bee offers to partner up with Cole and it would be just the two of them against the world. He burns the book and runs away.

Cole then starts up a car, drives really fast and drops the car through the house and on top of the babysitter. Yeah, I totally believe all this is real. Cole crawls out of the car just in time to watch Bee die. Finally, more police decide to show up.

Commentary

The first twenty minutes is for getting to know the situation and the characters, but I was bored and kept wanting something to happen. When things did finally start happening, they move quickly and non-stop.

I have so many logical questions. When did that swimming pool scene take place? All the action happens at night, but that was clearly daytime. There sure is a lot of explosions and screaming outside in this regular suburban neighborhood. No neighbors hear any of this? No one wonders why the police car is outside all this time? Where did the police car go when the bully was egging the house? What about Max screaming through the neighborhood while chasing Cole? What about all the gunshots?

It does have a few funny moments and surprises, but I think this may have been written for twelve-year-olds.