The Last House on the Left (1972)

Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone

This is a strange mix of upbeat music, almost slapstick humor, and horrific murder and rape scenes. It’s low-budget and dated, but one that should be seen.

Synopsis

The mailman admires how much mail Mary gets, and he says she’s “the prettiest piece” he’s ever seen. Credits roll.

Mari’s getting ready to go out, and her father notices she’s not wearing a bra. Her parents are squares, dude. Her father gives her a peace symbol necklace. The folk rock starts to play as Mari and her friend Phyllis hang out and lament that they don’t have any grass. Yep, it’s the 70s.

We cut to four escaped convicts, murderers and rapists; Krug and Junior Stillo killed some nuns. Fred Weasel Podeski is a pedophile and peeping Tom, his girlfriend Sadie is with them as well. Sadie says she’s putting out anymore until they get “a couple more chicks in here.”

Mari and Phyllis run into Junior and ask about buying some grass. He says he has an extra ounce of good Columbia for $20. He takes them home to get it. “Gotcha!” Says Fred.

Meanwhile, Mari’s parents hang up a “Happy Birthday Mari” banner and take the cake out of the oven. We cut back and forth between cake-decorating and a tense situation with Phyllis and Mari. They rape Phyllis while Mari watches, knowing she’s next.

The next morning, the four criminals stuff the two girls in the trunk of a car and head out to the country. Mari’s parents call around, but don’t call the police and report her missing because teenagers need their flings. Their car breaks down right in front of Mari’s house. They go back into the woods and demand that the two girls take their clothes off and make out.

Phyllis tries to run away, but Mari gets stuck trying to talk Junior into letting her go. Meanwhile, the cops play checkers. Fred ends up stabbing Phyllis to death. the police spot the criminal’s car, but they run out of gas themselves.

Krug carves his initials into Mari’s chest and then rapes her. Mari then walks into the lake where Krug shoots her. They’re still close enough to Mari’s house that her little dog hears the shots. The sheriff and deputy hitch a ride on the roof of a chicken wagon.

The four criminals go to the nearest house, which just happens to be Mari’s parents’ place. They say their car broke down. The parents are accommodating and let them all use the guest room. They actually end up in Mari’s room.

During dinner, Junior starts having a nightmare from guilt and his withdrawals. Mari’s mother recognizes the peace sign necklace around Junior’s neck and knows something is up.

Estelle, the mother and father leave the house and find Mari’s body by the lake. Mari’s father John is a doctor. Fred has a nightmare about them getting their revenge on him— surgically. Did they really find the body, or was that all part of his dream?

Estelle distracts Fred while John gets the house ready, “Home Alone” style. Fred brags about being able to “do” Estelle with his hands tied behind his back, and she takes him up on it, tying his hands behind his back with his necktie. She— bites his dick off.

Back at the house John can’t really fight off Krug. Junior, however, has a change of heart and shoots Krug, but misses. Krug shows us what a great father he is. John comes after Krug with a chainsaw. Sadie runs outside, straight into Estelle.

The battle rages back and forth just as the sheriff arrives to see both murderers killed.

Commentary

It’s pretty dated, but the music is fun. This was considered over-the-top brutal and got an X rating at the time of release, but it’s actually pretty tame compared to many modern films.

The twist at the end with the parents’ revenge was nice, and definitely deserved. The message is clear: don’t mess with suburbanites, that’s the source of true evil.

It’s a bit dated and definitely low-budget, but it’s really good for the time period. It’s got a great ending.