- Directed by Edouard Molinaro
- Written by Alain Godard, Jean-Marie Poire, Edouard Molinaro
- Stars Christopher Lee, Bernard Menez, Marie-Helene Breillat
- Run Time: 1 Hour, 18 Minutes
- Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmhdpi2ey5k
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
Christopher Lee provides a mostly serious balance to the comedy elements that prevents it from tipping too far into silliness. It was a nice mix of horror and humor. The script is decent and the sets are cool. We both enjoyed it more than we expected.
Spoilery Synopsis
It’s 1784 in Transylvania. The carriage crashes through the forest, “We’llnever make it before nightfall if we don’t hurry.” Then the wheel breaks. They all know what that means. One of the passengers pretends he’s a vampire and scares the young woman passenger.
The Count sends another carriage to pick up his yung fiance. “We’ll never see them again,” says the man they leave behind in the first carriage. Young Herminie’s chaperone gets bitten before they even arrive at the castle. When she arrives, she is greeted by the count himself. Yeah, he’s Dracula, so she faints.
We cut to them having sex later. “I want you to bear me a child,” he says. He soon gets one and then bites her as the baby rocks in a little baby-sized coffin.
We cut to two men talking about how to kill vampires. These were the men who were in the other carriage the previous year. They haven’t forgotten, but no trace was ever found of “that girl.” Hermine comes to town for her first meal as a vampire and kills one of the men. This goes badly, and she soon finds herself racing back to the castle as the sun starts to rise. The carriage arrives, but she’s just a pile of dust.
Five years pass, and Ferdinand runs through the castle. “Drink your blood and go to bed!” Marguerite, the old woman vampire, generally takes care of the boy, who locks her outside as the sun rises. One hundred and sixteen years later, Ferdinand still hasn’t bitten anyone, and the Count says it’s about time, so he sets Ferdinand up with an old woman traveling alone. He befriends the old woman instead.
In the present day Romania, the Count doesn’t appreciate the new Communist regime; the peasants have taken over his castle. The two vampires barely make it out alive. They kill a pair of sailors and trade places with the bodies in their coffins, which are then buried at sea.
Ferdinand’s coffin washes up on the shore and he gets wound up with an immigrant man. The Count, on the other hand, gets caught in a fishing net and taken to London. They both have a rough first night in civilization.
Ferdinand gets a job as a night watchman. Whenever he sees a pretty girl his fangs grow and his stomach growls. He soon learns about blood banks. He’s coerced into donating blood, which isn’t how it’s supposed to work.
Meanwhile, in London, the Count is having trouble finding a meal and finds a job as an actor– playing a vampire! He bites and turns the leading lady, but he soon gets annoyed with her. He tricks her into the sun himself.
Ferdinand’s still never bitten anyone. He pays an aggressive hooker with a mirror on her ceiling, and that goes badly. He goes to the morgue and bites a corpse, but they’re all frozen and stiff.
Ferdinand sees his father on TV for his famous vampire roles. They are soon happily reunited. Ferdinand shows his father where he’s been living, and the Count is not impressed. They go to the Count’s celebrity hotel after shopping for nice new coffins.
The Count meets Nicole, and he’s enchanted; she looks just like Hermine, so many years ago. She wants him to pose for a toothpaste ad, and he refuses. Ferdinand offers to take his place, and Nicole laughs. Ferdinand doesn’t hide that he’s a vampire, but that’s just what the count, the actor, always says, so no one takes him seriously. Ferdinand likes Nicole too, and he does what he can to keep the Count from biting her.
Somehow, the Count and Nicole get arrested, and he doesn’t get released until just before sunup. Ferdinand throws the count’s coffin out the window, so that’s a problem. He ends up hiding in a sewer all day.
Ferdinand does, in fact, get the toothpaste ad job. He’s not very good and he argues with his father in front of Nicole.
Ferdinand leaves and gets a job in a meat packing factory. Nicole tracks him down and says the “funny” toothpaste ad is a hit. She leaves, as she has a meeting with the Count, and Ferdinand follows her. Ferdinand cuts the power, and while it’s dark, sneaks into the room with Nicole and finally makes love to her.
When Nicole figures out she’s really with Ferdinand, she doesn’t really mind. They go to her place, but he loses track of time and rushes out as the sun comes up. As the sun rises, Ferdinand learns that he doesn’t explode into ash; he’s only half-vampire, so he’s fine outside. He can also see himself in the mirror now. He tries real food, and he loves it!
The Count, however, still wants Nicole for himself. Nicole takes Ferdinand to her family’s old estate, which has no electricity; The Count follows them and turns on the power. Ferdinand grabs a cross and the Count is impressed. Nicole, however, thinks it’s all a silly game and pulls down the curtain, exposing the Count to sunlight, which kills him.
Six years later, Ferdinand and Nicole have children, and they’ve been acting peculiar lately. THey have fangs…
Brian’s Commentary
For the tenth and final time, Christopher Lee played Dracula. Well, more or less; the character here isn’t really named Dracula except for the title.
It’s described as a parody and comedy, but there’s a lot here for horror fans to like. Christopher Lee mostly plays it straight, which contrasts with Ferdinand’s comedic side.
It’s not bad!
Kevin’s Commentary
It became a backdrop for humor to never refer to Christopher Lee as Dracula. He was perfect for the role to balance the humor and put just the right amount of brakes on it. It was way more entertaining than I expected it to be. I’d recommend it.