- Directed by: Steve Wolsh
- Written by: Steve Wolsh
- Stars: Kane Hodder, Lachlan Buchanan, Bryce Draper, Lauren Francesca, Stephanie Danielson
- Run Time: 1h 38m
- Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VUulrwKcIg
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
The IMDB.com summary says “After narrowly escaping an ancient burial ground, a group of friends find themselves trapped between two evils, forcing them to fight, die, or go back the way they came.” The movie seems to start in the middle of a story, and we don’t really know what happened before. There’s much bad acting, strange choices made, random seeming editing, young women scantily dressed, and not a lot of story that’s explained or makes sense. Both of us agree this was phenomenally bad.
Spoilery Synopsis
A woman runs through the swamp, screaming for help. Her three friends soon catch up, but Billy’s been injured. They’re all freaked out, as some of their friends are dead. There’s an inordinate amount of screaming and arguing before they head toward the house they see. Credits roll as another girl is left out in the swamp alone.
The group breaks into the house and quickly settles in to warm up. Billy explains that they’re in a horror movie and how they’re all going to die. He predicts that Kylie is going to be the final girl since she’s wearing the most clothes. Noah decides to go for help, since the house doesn’t have a phone.
The group settles in. Desiree goes upstairs for a shower, and Kylie goes into the basement looking for a first-aid kit.
Noah makes it to town and stops in at the bar– it’s St. Patrick’s Day and everything is green. He goes to the restroom and washes up, then gets distracted by the women in the ladies’ room. He orders a couple of drinks for himself and the ladies, seemingly forgetting to call the police or any help for his friends.
Desiree takes her long, slow shower and then comes out just to get chopped up by a man with an axe.
Noah finally calls his friend Troit, telling him he’s in the town of West Craven. Troit and his hate-girlfriend Chandi go to rescue the group. We then take a time-out to watch one of the bar women change clothes in the restroom. They talk about WesCraven a dozen times so we are sure to catch the reference.
Random stuff seems to happen. Noah runs down the street. Kylie gets tortured by bald cultists. Troit and his girlfriends stagger around the parking lot and talk about buying a boat. There’s an ad for Red Bull– it gives you wings. Something has grabbed Billy and Mia that we didn’t even see. Noah then plays hide and seek in a graveyard.
There’s no point in giving more of a synopsis, as none of this makes any damned sense at all. Kevin paid good money for this Blu-Ray, so I guess I have to finish it, but oh, is it ever bad. (At least, Kevin adds, it was a really good deal on the Blu-Ray.)
Brian’s Commentary
We never really find out what happened to the group before the movie started, but people have already died by that point, and the characters already know they’re in a horror movie. Who were these bald men, cultists or something? What was any of this for?
Well, that was truly awful. Not one of the “Actors” can act, which isn’t helped by the awful dialogue and pacing. It’s got lots of barely-dressed girls running around through most of the film, so there’s that if you’re into that sort of thing, but that’s probably the only reason anyone would watch this. Even the editing is noticeably terrible, with odd, half-second bits of blackness where the shots didn’t quite align in the editing room.
Worst of the month, easily. It’s far from the worst I’ve ever seen, but it’s probably in the top twenty.
Kevin’s Commentary
The very beginning had me wondering if we’d started in the middle of the movie by mistake. After the credits roll, we realize they did that on purpose. This was intended to be the second movie of a trilogy, making the second movie first for some reason. It’s been eleven years, so that plan is doubtful.
Apparently despite having been attacked, some people missing, one guy badly injured, it doesn’t occur to the characters to call 911. Just one of many strange and bad choices made. But don’t think about that too much, look, here’s another young woman strutting or running about scantily dressed or topless. And then for some reason bald pale attacker guys show up. Stuff happens and then it ends abruptly, unfinished and waiting for the third in the trilogy.
It wasn’t available for streaming, and I wanted to see it, so I picked up a cheap Blu-ray copy. That seemed like a good idea at the time. I was intensely disappointed.
Be the first to comment on "2015 Muck"