- Director: William Bagley
- Writers: William Bagley (written by), Scott Hawkins (story)
- Stars: Haley Leary, Chris Mayers, Julian Smith, Tordy Clark, Hamid-Reza Benjamin Thompson
- Runtime: 74 minutes
- Official Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QD-5FTC84RM
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
Because they didn’t read their home owners association contract, a young couple find themselves in a battle with assorted creatures from a hell portal. It’s very funny while being full on horror with a gory body count. The effects, cast, and script were all very good. We thought it was really entertaining.
Spoilery Synopsis
An old man and woman argue about defending the house against something. There’s something wrong with their land, and she wants to sell the place. He refuses, but he may not have a choice.
When the realtor and a new buyer come to look at the house in the morning, there are bullets everywhere and the old woman, covered in blood, says “We’ll sell.” Credits roll as a whole new subdivision is built on the spot.
Lucas argues with Jenny about moving into a place with an HOA. She’s not a fan of HOAs, but he thinks it’s all pretty cool. They get an invitation to the annual equinox party tonight. Jerry, the HOA guy, shows up at the door.
“Welcome to the Equinox. Please don’t die” says the banner at the party. Ted and Annette say there’s plenty of weird stuff that goes on here. They explain the legend of the equinox; once a year, a portal from Hell opens up and all kinds of creatures pour out to kill. The “Fort” that was here defends against the monsters, so now they can all get drunk and celebrate. Ted asks, “Can you shoot? You can always tell which neighbors are gonna last.”
Jerry starts his presentation, and he talks about expecting a horde of witches. “Magic can’t stop bullets,” but the price of silver is going to limit their werewolf defenses. The Stick Man might be the worst of all of them, the leader of the dark army. Then there’s a raffle and Lucas wins a shotgun. Everyone jokes that there’s no way Lucas is going to survive the night.
Jerry freaks out and says “They’re early tonight!” and everyone goes on full alert. We get a glimpse of the Hell portal, wide open outside.
The witches attack, and one man dies right away, splattering Lucas with blood. McScruffy, the local weapons guy, shows up, and he’s armed for witches. It’s all very violent, but the witches are soon dead. Lucas, who doesn’t know guns, shoots McScruffy in the leg.
Jerry explains that this is all pretty standard HOA stuff “Gotta pay for bullets and shit,” he explains, which is why the fees are so high. Jerry then passes out because he ate too many cheesesticks with muscle relaxers in them.
Three of the men inside the house turn into zombies. There’s a crazy battle, and soon there are five zombies. Everyone hides in the closet. Lucas tries to call 911, but they keep hanging up on him. “Didn’t you read anything in your HOA contract?”
Ted explains that there’s no property tax here, so the portal to Hell is generally worth it. They explain about the kung-fu spirits that control the zombies, and Lucas thinks he can get to the special sword. When they get out of the closet, the zombies are gone.
The fog rolls in. “He’s here,” says Jerry. Ted gives Lucas a sort of pep talk as they hear a werewolf outside. The two finally defeat the kung-fu zombies by working together. Suddenly, a huge werewolf shows up, and it takes forever for Jenny to figure out how to load the gun with silver bullets.
Ted gets killed in the meantime, but that doesn’t keep him down. Lucas uses the mini-chainsaw on him.
Lucas apologizes to Jenny for moving into an HOA. She says she would have liked the place under different circumstances. Jerry and Annette say that there’s another wave coming. Jerry wants to mix things up by attacking the portal with Annette’s moonshine bottles.
Lucas, with McScruffy duct-taped on his back, runs toward the portal with a hug load of moonshine as they are swarmed by kamikaze bats. They fall down and lose the moonshine, but McScruffy has a huge bomb strapped to his chest, so that’s Plan B.
Back in the clubhouse, something grabs Jerry, leaving Jenny and Annette alone. It suddenly gets really cold, and the Stick Man shows up just in time to kill Annette. As he moves in to kill Jenny, Lucas helps McScruffy to jump into the Hell portal with his bomb.
As the portal explodes, so do the remaining monsters.
One year later, new people move into the HOA, and Jerry shows up to invite them to a party tonight. Lucas and Jenny don’t expect anything will happen this year, and they’re part of the HOA.
As the closing credits roll, we see the power of cocaine in large quantities.
Brian’s Commentary
Always read your HOA contract. At least now we really understand what those fees are for.
It’s fast-paced, funny, and has excellent effects. I thought it was pretty great.
Kevin’s Commentary
This was really a lot of fun. Which continues into the closing credits with some outtakes. It’s well made and entertaining.
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